Section (Part 1)

THE LOG OF THE"JOLLY POLLY"

By Richard Harding Davis

Temptation came to me when I was in the worst possible position to resist it.

It is a way temptation has. Whenever I swear off drinking invariably I am invited to an ushers'dinner. Whenever I am rich, only the highbrow publications that pay the least, want my work. But the moment I am poverty-stricken the MANICURE GIRL'S MAGAZINE and the ROT AND SPOT WEEKLY spring at me with offers of a dollar a word. Temptation always is on the job. When I am down and out temptation always is up and at me.

When first the Farrells tempted me my vogue had departed. On my name and"past performances"I could still dispose of what I wrote, but only to magazines that were just starting. The others knew I no longer was a best-seller. All the real editors knew it. So did the theatrical managers.

My books and plays had flourished in the dark age of the historical-romantic novel. My heroes wore gauntlets and long swords. They fought for the Cardinal or the King, and each loved a high-born demoiselle who was a ward of the King or the Cardinal, and with feminine perversity, always of whichever one her young man was fighting. With people who had never read Guizot's"His tory of France,"my books were popular, and for me made a great deal of money. This was fortunate, for my parents had left me nothing save expensive tastes. When the tastes became habits, the public left me. It turned to white-slave and crook plays, and to novels true to life; so true to life that one felt the author must at one time have been a masseur in a Turkish bath.

So, my heroines in black velvet, and my heroes with long swords were"scrapped."As one book reviewer put it,"To expect the public of to-day to read the novels of Fletcher Farrell is like asking people to give up the bunny hug and go back to the lancers."

And, to make it harder, I was only thirty years old.

It was at this depressing period in my career that I received a letter from Fairharbor, Massachusetts, signed Fletcher Farrell. The letter was written on the business paper of the Farrell Cotton Mills, and asked if I were related to the Farrells of Duncannon, of the County We xford, who emigrated to Massachusetts in 1860. The writer added that he had a grandfather named Fletcher and suggested we might be related. From the handwriting of Fletcher Farrell and from the way he ill-treated the King's English I did not feel the ties of kinship calling me very loud. I replied briefly that my people originally came from You ghal, in County Cork, that as early as 1730 they had settled in New York, and that all my relations on the Farrell side either were still at You ghal, or dead. Mine was not an encouraging letter; nor did I mean it to be; and I was greatly surprised two days later to receive a telegram reading,"Something to your advantage to communicate; wife and self calling on you Thursday at noon. Fletcher Farrell."I was annoyed, but also interested. The words"something to your advantage"always possess a certain charm. So, when the elevator boy telephoned that Mr. and Mrs. Farrell were calling, I told him to bring them up.

My first glance at the Farrells convinced me the interview was a waste of time. I was satisfied that from two such persons, nothing to my advantage could possibly emanate. On the contrary, from their lack of ease, it looked as though they had come to beg or borrow. They resembled only a butler and housekeeper applying for a new place under the disadvantage of knowing they had no reference from the last one. Of the two, I better liked the man. He was an elderly, pleasant-faced Irishman, smooth-shaven, red-cheeked, and with white hair. Although it was July, he wore a frock coat, and carried a new high hat that glistened. As though he thought at any moment it might explode, he held it from him, and eyed it fearfully. Mrs. Farrell was of a more sophisticated type. The lines in her face and hands showed that for years she might have known hard physical work. But her dress was in the latest fashion, and her fingers held more diamonds than, out of a showcase, I ever had seen.

With embarrassment old man Farrell began his speech. Evidently it had been rehearsed and as he recited it, in swift asides, his wife prompted him; but to note the effect he was making, she kept her eyes upon me. Having first compared my name, fame, and novels with those of Charles Dickens, Walter Scott, and Archibald Clavering Gunter, and to the disadvantage of those gentlemen, Farrell said the similarity of our names often had been commented upon, and that when from my letter he had learned our families both were from the South of Ireland, he had a premonition we might be related. Duncannon, where he was born, he pointed out, was but forty miles from You ghal, and the fishing boats out of Waterford Harbor often sought shelter in Blackwater River. Had any of my forebears, he asked, followed the herring?

Alarmed, lest at this I might take offense, Mrs. Farrell interrupted him.

"The Fletchers and O'Farrells of You ghal,"she exclaimed,"were gentry. What would they be doing in a trawler?"

I assured her that so far as I knew, 1750 being before my time, they might have been smugglers and pirates.

"All I ever heard of the Farrells,"I told her,"begins after they settled in New York. And there is no one I can ask concerning them. My father and mother are dead; all my father's relatives are dead, and my mother's relatives are as good as dead. I mean,"I added,"we don't speak!"

To my surprise, this information appeared to afford my visitors great satisfaction. They exchanged hasty glances.

"Then,"exclaimed Mr. Farrell, eagerly;"if I understand you, you have no living relations at all—barring those that are dead!"

"Exactly!"I agreed.

He drew a deep sigh of relief. With apparent irrelevance but with a carelessness that was obviously assumed, he continued.

"Since I come to America,"he announced,"I have made heaps of money."As though in evidence of his prosperity, he flashed the high hat. In the sunlight it coruscated like one of his wife's diamonds."Heaps of money,"he repeated."The mills are still in my name,"he went on,"but five years since I sold them—We live on the income. We own Harbor Castle, the finest house on the whole waterfront."

"When all the windows are lit up,"interjected Mrs. Farrell,"it's often took for a Fall River boat!"

"When I was building it,"Farrell continued, smoothly,"they called it Farrell's Folly; but not NOW."In friendly fashion he winked at me,"Standard Oil,"he explained,"offered half a million for it. They wanted my wharf for their tank steamers. But, I needed it for my yacht!"

I must have sat up rather too suddenly, for, seeing the yacht had reached home, Mr. Farrell beamed. Complacently his wife smoothed an imaginary wrinkle in her skirt.

"Eighteen men!"she protested,"with nothing to do but clean brass and eat three meals a day!"

Farrell released his death grip on the silk hat to make a sweeping gesture.

"They earn their wages,"he said generously.

"Aren't they taking us this week to Cap May?"

"They're taking the yacht to Cape May!"corrected Mrs. Farrell;"not ME!"

"The sea does not agree with her,"explained Farrell;"WE'RE going by automobile."Mrs. Farrell now took up the wondrous tale.

"It's a High Flyer, 1915 model,"she explained;"green, with white enamel leather inside, and red wheels outside. You can see it from the window."

Somewhat dazed, I stepped to the window and found you could see it from almost anywhere. It was as large as a freight car; and was entirely surrounded by taxi-starters, bellboys, and nurse-maids. The chauffeur, and a deputy chauffeur, in a green livery with patent-leather leggings, were frowning upon the mob. They possessed the hauteur of ambulance surgeons. I returned to my chair, and then rose hastily to ask if I could not offer Mr. Farrell some refreshment.

"Mebbe later,"he said. Evidently he felt that as yet he had not sufficiently impressed me.

"Harbor Castle,"he recited,"has eighteen bedrooms, billiard-room, music-room, art gallery and swimming-pool."He shook his head."And no one to use'em but us. We had a boy."He stopped, and for an instant, as though asking pardon, laid his hand upon the knee of Mrs. Farrell."But he was taken when he was four, and none came since. My wife has a niece,"he added,"but——"

"But,"interrupted Mrs. Farrell,"she was too high and mighty for plain folks, and now there is no one. We always took an interest in you because your name was Farrell. We were always reading of you in the papers. We have all your books, and a picture of you in the billiard-room. When folks ask me if we are any relation—sometimes I tell'em we ARE."

As though challenging me to object, she paused.

"It's quite possible,"I said hastily. And, in order to get rid of them, I added:"I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll write to Ireland and——"

Farrell shook his head firmly."You don't need to write to Ireland,"he said,"for what we want."

"What DO you want?"I asked.

"We want a SON,"said Farrell;"an Adopted son. We want to adopt YOU!"

"You want to WHAT?"I asked.

To learn if Mrs. Farrell also was mad, I glanced toward her, but her expression was inscrutable. The face of the Irishman had grown purple.

"And why not?"he demanded."You are a famous young man, all right, and educated. But there's nothing about me I'm ashamed of! I'm worth five million dollars and I made every cent Of it myself—and I made it honest. You ask Dun or Bradstreet, ask——"

I attempted to soothe him.

"THAT'S not it, sir,"I explained."It's a most generous offer, a most flattering, complimentary offer. But you don't know me. I don t know you. Choosing a son is a very——"

"I've had you looked up,"announced Mrs. Farrell."The Pinkertons give you a high rating. I hired'em to trail you for six months."

I wanted to ask WHICH six months, but decided to let sleeping dogs lie. I shook my head. Politely but firmly I delivered my ultimatum.

"It is quite impossible!"I said firmly.

Mrs. Farrell continued the debate. She talked in a businesslike manner and pronounced the arrangement one by which both sides would benefit. The re were thousands of other Farrells, she pointed out, any one of whom they might have adopted. But they had selected me because in so choosing, they thought they were taking the least risk. They had decided she was pleased to say, that I would not disgrace them, and that as a"literary author"I brought with me a certain social asset.

A clever, young businessman they did not want. The ir business affairs they were quit able to manage themselves. But they would like as an Adopted son one who had already added glory to the name of Farrell, which glory he was willing to share.

"We wouldn't tie you down,"she urged"but we would expect you to live at Harbor Castle a part of your time, and to call us Ma and Pa. You would have your own rooms, and your own servant, and there is a boat-house on the harbor front, where you could write your novels."

At this, knowing none wanted my novels, I may have winced, for, misreading my discontent, Farrell hastily interrupted.

"You won't have to work at all,"he protested heartily."My son can afford to live like a lord. You'll get all the spending money you want, and if you're fond of foreign parts, you can take the yacht wherever you please!"

"The farther the better,"exclaimed Mrs. Farrell with heat."And when you get it there, I hope you'll SINK it!"

"Maybe your friends would come and visit You,"suggested Farrell, I thought, a trifle wistfully."The re's bathing, tennis, eight... bedrooms, billiard-room, art gallery——"

"You told him that!"said Mrs. Farrell.

I was greatly at a loss. The ir offer was preposterous, but to them, it was apparently a perfectly possible arrangement. Nor were they acting on impulse. Mrs. Farrell had admitted that for six months she had had me"trailed."How to say"No"and not give offense, I found difficult. They were deeply in earnest and I could see that Farrell, at least, was by instinct generous, human, and kind. It was, in fact, a most generous offer. But how was I to tell them tactfully I was not for sale, that I was not looking for"ready-to-wear"parents, and that if I were in the market, they were not the parents I would choose. I had a picture of life at Harbor Castle, dependent upon the charity of the Farrells. I imagined what my friends would say to me, and worse, what they would say behind my back. But I was not forced to a refusal.

Mr. Farrell rose.

"We don't want to hurry you,"he said."We want you to think it over. Maybe if we get acquainted——"

Mrs. Farrell smiled upon me ingratiatingly.

"Why don't we get acquainted now?"she demanded."We're motoring down to Cape May to stay three weeks. Why don't you come along—as our guest—and see how you like us?"

I assured them, almost too hastily, that already was deeply engaged.

As they departed, Farrell again admonished me to think it over.

"And look me up at Dun's and Bradstreet's,"he advised."Ask'em about me at the Waldorf. Ask the head waiters and bellhops if I look twice at a five spot!"

It seemed an odd way to select a father, but I promised.

I escorted them even to the sidewalk, and not without envy watched them sweep toward the Waldorf in the High Flyer, 1915 model. I caught myself deciding, were it mine, I would paint it gray.

I was lunching at the Ritz with Curtis Spencer, and I looked forward to the delight he would take in my story of the Farrells. He would probably want to write it. He was my junior, but my great friend; and as a novelist his popularity was where five years earlier mine had been. But he belonged to the new school. His novels smelled like a beauty parlor; and his heroines, while always beautiful, were, on occasions, virtuous, but only when they thought it would pay.

Spencer himself was as modern as his novels, and I was confident his view of my adventure would be that of the great world which he described so accurately.

But to my amazement when I had finished he savagely attacked me.

"You idiot!"he roared."Are you trying to tell me you refused five million dollars—just because you didn't like the people who wanted to force it on you? Where,"he demanded,"is Cape May? We'll follow them now! We'll close this deal before they can change their minds. I'll make you sign to-night. And, then,"he continued eagerly,"we'll take their yacht and escape to Newport, and you'll lend me five thousand dollars, and pay my debts, and give me back the ten you borrowed. And you might buy me a touring-car and some polo ponies and—and—oh, lots of things. I'll think of them as we go along. Meanwhile, I can't afford to give luncheons to millionaires, so you sign for this one; and then we'll start for Cape May."

"Are you mad?"I demanded;"do you think I'd sell my honor!"

"For five million dollars?"cried Spencer."Don't make me laugh! If they want a REAL novelist for a son they can adopt me!"

I replied with dignity that I would not disgrace the memory of my parents.

"You have disgraced them!"retorted Spencer,"with your Musketeer novels for infants. You need money. To get it you may be tempted to write more novels. Here's your chance! Stop robbing the public, and lead an honest life. Think of all the money you could give to the poor, think of all the money you and I could lose at Monte Carlo!"

When he found I would not charter an Auto-mobile and at once pursue the Farrells he changed his tactics. If I would not go to Cape May, then, he begged, I would go to Fairharbor. He asked that I would, at least, find out what I was refusing. Before making their offer, for six months, the Farrells had had me"looked up,"but, without knowing anything of them, after a talk of ten minutes I had turned them down."Was that,"he asked,"intelligent? Was it fair to the Farrells?"He continued to tempt me.