FOREWORD TO A FOOLISH BOOK

A certain Poet once opined

That life is earnest, life is real;

But some are of a different mind,

And turn to hear the Cap-bells peal.

Oft in this Vale of Smiles I've found

Foolishness makes the world go round.

Ecclesiastes, Solomon,

And lots of those who've passed before us,

Denounced all foolishness and fun,

Not so the gay and blithesome Horace;

And Shakespeare's Jaques, somewhat hotly,

Declared the only wear is Motley!

We mortals, fools are said to be;

And doesn't this seem rather nice?

I learn, on good authority,

That Fools inhabit Paradise!

Honored by kings they've always been;

And—you know where Fools may rush in.

And so, with confidence unshaken,

In Cap and Bells, I strike the trail.

I know just how, because I've taken

A Correspondence Course by mail.

I find the Foolish life's less trouble

Than Higher, Strenuous or Double.

Dear Reader, small the boon I ask,—

Your gentle smile, to egg my wit on;

Lest people deem my earnest task

Not worth the paper it is writ on.

We ll, at white paper's present worth,

That would be rather high-priced mirth!

I hope you think my lines are bright,

I hope you trow my jests are clever;

If you approve of what I write

Then you and I are friends forever.

But if you say my stuff is rotten,

You are forgiven and forgotten.

Though, as the old hymn runs, I may not

Sing like the angels, speak like Paul;

Though on a golden lyre I play not,

As David played before King Saul;

Yet I consider this production

A gem of verbalesque construction.

So, what your calling, or your bent,

If clergy or if laity,

Fall into line. I'll be content

And plume me on my gayety,

If of the human file and rank

I can make nine-tenths smile,—and thank.