Preface

THE LIFE AND ADVENTURES OF MAJ. ROGER SHERMAN POTTER:

TOGETHER WITH an ACCURATE AND EXCEEDINGLY INTERESTING ACCOUNT OF HIS GREAT ACHIEVEMENTS IN POLITICS, DIPLOMACY, AND WAR,—ALL OF WHICH ARE HERE RECORDED OUT OF SHEER LOVE FOR THE MARTIAL SPIRIT OF THIS TRULY AMBITIOUS NATION.

I HERE DECLARE THAT THIS GREAT WORK WAS NEITHER TRANSLATED FROM THE FRENCH, NOR PRIGGED FROM THE UNPUBLISHED WORK OF ANY ENGLISH AUTHOR, BUT WAS TRULY AND HONESTLY WRITTEN FOR THE ESPECIAL BENEFIT OF MY PUBLISHER.

BY PHELEG VAN TRUSEDALE, WHO, WITHOUT ASKING PERMISSION, RESPECTFULLY DEDICATES IT TO HIS FRIEND AND BENEFACTOR, JAMES BUCHANAN, PRESIDENT OF THESE UNITED STATES.

NEW YORK:

1858.

AUTHOR'S PREFACE.

IF the reader will but pay attention to what I have written in this great work, it will be found that I have taken an unwarrantable liberty with his good taste; that is to say, I have so far deviated from that stereotyped rule-so strictly observed by all our great authors-as to make my hero, who is what is curiously enough called a"Yankee Character,"speak tolerably good English, instead of vulgar slang. In truth, so closely do"our great writers"adhere to this rule of depicting the eccentric American as a lean, scraggy individual, dressed most outlandishly, making splinters of the king's English, while drawling it with offensive nasal sounds, and violating the rules of common politeness in whatever he does, that when he goes abroad the foreigner is surprised to find him a tolerably well polished gentleman, and indeed not unfrequently inquires what part of our country those lean persons he has seen described in the books of American authors reside in.

Let this preface then suffice, for if any one of my many readers think he can write a better—and I doubt not he can-let him set about it, and not stop until he get it exactly to his fancy. But before he say one word against aught that is herein written, let him bear in mind that I am the author of not less than a stack of great histories, which have already so multiplied my literary fame, that the mere announcement of another book by me sends that only great and generous critic, the public at large, into a perfect fever of anxiety.

PHELEG VAN TRUSEDALE.

New York, Nov., 1857.

CONTENTS.

1.—A Chapter Wherein those Having a Taste for Nonsense may find It

2.—Containing Sundry Matters of Deep Interest

3.—A Pleasant Meeting with a Renowned Major

4.—Major Roger Sherman Potter Recounts his Exploits in War and Politics

5.—In which Politicians and Other Vagabonds may find Something to The ir Advantage

6.—Major Roger Potter's First Adventure in New York

7.—The Pleasant Side of a Misfortune

8.—Meeting Between the Renowned Major and an Eccentric Fishmonger

9.—How the Renowned Major Exchanged Chickens with Mrs. Trotbridge

10.—The Kindness of Mine Host of the Astor

11.—Wonderful Story of an Intelligent

12.—Concerning Matters Necessary to the Perfection of This His tory

13.—The Two Strange Characters at the Independent Temperance Hotel

14.—A whole Town in a State of Alarm

15.—an Amusing Meeting between Major Roger Potter and his Wife, Polly Potter

16.—Many Queer and Deeply Interesting Things which took place When Major Potter arrived at Barnstable

17.—A Man of the Name of Giles Sheridan

18.—Which Relates how Major Roger Potter Sailed for New York, to the Great Delight of Little Barnstable

19.—The Most Pleasant and Satisfactory Mode of Displaying Courage and Military Skill

20.—A Mistake that had Nearly Cost Major Potter his Life

21.—The Happiest Way of Settling a Difference

22.—The Least Expensive Way of Manufacturing Her oes

23.—Which Treats of a Party of Yachters Met on the Sound

24.—A Remarkable Interview between the Renowned Major Roger Potter and the Commander of the Fleet

25.—A Small Accident which had well nigh Lost the Renowned Major all His Reputation for Gallantry

26.—Major Roger Potter's Grand Reception in New York, and How he was Fairly Suffocated with the Attentions of Our Aldermen

27.—What was Said and Done when the Renowned Major Potter Arrived at the Great St. Nicholas Hotel

28.—A Remarkable Mayor of the City; how he Received the Major, Exchanged Speeches, and was Serenaded, to the Great Delight of Politicians and Vagabonds in general

29.—Wherein is Pleasantly Related how Major Roger Potter was Found Almost Suffocated

30.—How to Regulate the Good Conduct of You ng Gentlemen Entering the"Century Club."

31.—How the Landlord of the Astor pursued the Renowned Major with a Small Bill

32.—A Queer Account of How the Major got into Debt to the Landlord of the Astor

33.—How the Major became a General, and Joined the You ng American Banking House of Pickle, Prig & Flutter

34.—A Remarkable Showman, and what was Done with the Intelligent Pig

35.—Two Great Generals, and an Amusing Account of the Very Unmilitary Predicament they were Found in on the Morning of the Review

36.—The Story of a very Learned Critic, together with other Queer and Interesting Matters, all of which took place at the New York Hotel

37.—A Chapter on Military Politicians and Critics, all of which is set down in Writing by Mr. Orlando Tickler, one of the Order

38.—Major Roger Potter Engages to get the Kingdom of Kalorama for us, and Prepares to Depart for Washington, to Procure the Mission promised him by the Government

39.—A Remark or two concerning our Grand Opera House

40.—How certain We ll-Known Adepts and Office-Seekers were Alarmed at General Roger Potter's Arrival in Washington

41.—an Adept of the Name of Ben Stretcher, and what He Does for those who Stand in Need of His Services

42.—Which Records the Singular Character of the Application made by General Roger Potter for an Office, and how he is sent Minister to the King of the Kaloramas, that being the Easiest Method of Getting Rid of Him

43.—Which Records how the General Got His Commission, and Returned to New York, with Other Things Common to Politicians

44.—General Roger Potter gets a Mission, and Returns to New York, with the Loss of his Secretary, Mr. Tickler

45.—an Affair of Gallantry that had Nearly Cost Mr. Tickler his Life, an event that would have been a Serious Loss to the Nation; also, the Story of Leon and Linda, as Told by the Critic

46.—The Renowned General Potter takes his Departure as Minister Plenipotentiary for Kalorama; as, also, a True and Accurate Account of What Took Place when the Ship Crossed the Line. To which is Added the Sad His tory of Spark Island

47.—Which Describes the Rejoicing that Took Place when the General Landed at Buzabub, on the Coast of Kalorama

48.—How the Renowned General Potter Spent a Night Among the Dead

49.—Sorry Trials of a Great Minister Plenipotentiary, all of which arise from his Ignorance of the Language spoken at Court

50.—The Journey to Nezub; as, also, a Curious Conversation which took place between Minister Potter and his Secretary

51.—In which is Minutely Described an Entirely New and Most Extraordinary Mode of Punishing Ministers and Secretaries of Legation

52.—Things which the Author Ventures to Assert Cannot Fail to Amuse and Instruct the Reader

53.—How the Renowned General Potter had an Army of Vagabonds sent him, and how the Terrible Battle of the Banana Hills was Fought Without Bloodshed

54.—an Amusing Result of a Great Battle

55.—Which Recounts how General Potter Condemned the Priests to Ride Asses Three Times a Day, as a Good Enough Punishment for their Intriguing; also, a Plain and Unvarnished Account of the ever-Memorable Battle of"The Miracle,"in which Old Battle, the Greatest War Horse of these times, Lost his Life

56.—an Amusing Quarrel, which Arose Concerning the Government of Kolorama

57.—Which Treats of How the Ruler of a Kingdom was Carried Off into Captivity on a Mule, and how he Escaped from the Priests

58.—an Account of how the Renowned General Potter stole the Hat and Mule of a Poor Priest, that he might go in Search of his Straying Army

59.—The Vagaries of Mr. Tickler, Secretary and Critic to General Roger Potter. He Relates the Story of Angelio

60.—The Last and Most Melancholy Chapter in this Eventful His tory, and wherein will be found one the Most Truthful Accounts of a Warrior Returning Home Without a Kingdom, and in a Pelting Rain

THE ADVENTURES OF MAJOR ROGER SHERMAN POTTER.